Wow… it has been a Very long time.
I have actually started to do photography semi-professionally- YAY!
Search F8 & Folly on Facebook- I am rebranding soon though….
The problem is that there are so many neat TOYS I want! Baby hats and headbands and baskets, oh my! Not to mention the actions and backdrops….
Luckily there are some awesome give-aways out there. One I am praying I win to kick start my business is http://beautifulphotoprops.typepad.com/my-blog/2011/05/spring-into-summer-photographers-dream-giveaway.html
There are SOOOO many awesome products, it would be a dream come true.
In other news…….
I am now pregnant with Baby Dos, another girl, 26 weeks to be approximate.
I would be overjoyed if life wasn’t a factor. What I mean by that is the stress of being a first year teacher, particularly in DISD, being a mom to a 2 yo, and wife to a Schwartz on TOP of being pregnant and my normally awesome emo self can be a bit much at times.
I am sure that things will work out fine… eventually. But until they do be warned this may be an angsty emo post.
The last pregnancy Chris and I worked full time at the same business and I still felt like I had a somewhat strong support network of friends and Chris’ family. Even with all that support I went through about 3-4 months of terrible post partum depression.
This time around I don’t feel that I have nearly the support, financially or emotionally and am in truth very worried about how it’s going to play out.
Part of it is loneliness. With husband working nights I have been sooo lonely. There are no mommy groups that meet at night, becuase you know, they have families at home.
Trying to find a church is a challenge since going to a married group is kinda awkward when your SO works every Sunday…
One friend is moving to Denton for school soon, the other is pregnant herself, just moved, and is super busy with her own family. There are a couple of ladies that I am sorta friends with that have been so very generous in volunteering to host my baby shower, if they hadn’t I wouldn’t have had one; but I always feel on the outside and I am not sure how to come in.
Part of it is timing. I happen to be due mid-august, which also happens to be about 1.5 weeks before school starts. On top of that, I didn’t realize that Maternity is considered short term disability, so I didn’t elect coverage, which means that I have no paid maternity leave, or any guaranteed leave at all.
So if having a baby wasn’t stressful enough, financially or otherwise, we also have to worry about saving up so I can actually get to know my newborn for a couple of weeks. Then I have to deal with the stress of what taking time off at the beginning of the year is going to do to my classroom management strategy. Then again, DISD is apparently still going to lay off around 250 teachers, so maybe I won’t have to worry about it at all. Of course, they may not tell us until July at the rate the State is moving on the budget.
Google HB 400 to see how they are raping teachers and education.
Truthfully, I am half hoping I get laid off and can get unemployment for a couple of months to be with my baby. Then in an ideal world I would be hired at another district that I have been eyeing which would be the ideal place I would want to look at buying a home.
If I don’t get laid off I get to teach myself two subjects over the summer and hope I have supplies and a budget (hahahaha). Then deal with a new schedule, larger class sizes and extra duties since they have laid off all of our hall monitors and half of our security.
Don’t get me wrong, I am soooo very greatful to have a job, especially when so many don’t- but there is just so much stress involved with it- so many politics, and it’s kids futures- our futures on the line.
Husband has given up on school for the moment. He has been trying to go ever since we met and something always happens, be it financially or otherwise to make it nearly impossible. He started waiting tables when DISD jerked me around on a hire date for a few months just to get us money to scrape by on. Unfortunately since we moved and due to the terrible economy and gas prices he is spending more to get to work most days then he is making.
So his plan is to find a waiting job closer to home and teach himself programming. He is trying to learn ASP. net / PHP to get something entry level.
That would be great…. except it means that DD will be spending a lot more time with the in-laws. Ever since they went a little crazy on me I have had an issue with her spending so much time with them. Even more so that now DD has days when she wants nothing to do with me, it’s all about Daddy or Granma. I try to pick her up, play with her, hand her what she’s asking them for and all hell breaks lose. It honestly makes it hard to think about having another one just to have my in laws raise her. (exaggeration? maybe. But with 2 working parents, maybe not). I am grateful for the free childcare, since we definitely can’t afford it, but it’s a poisoned double edged sword some days.
Well that pretty much sums up everything that has been on my mind for the past 6 months or so. Thanks for listening to the angst.
